Recently, I was in the midst of a challenging situation with someone I care about.  She was upset and reactive and I found myself struggling to keep my balance. After calling her to discuss it, the tension continued to grow and I knew I had a choice; I could either join her in the battleground, or channel my energy in a different direction. Although I was feeling pressure from her to remain in the upset, I chose the latter.  Instead of engaging in a power struggle, I spent several hours creating a new project and moving forward with my life’s work.

If I had entered into the ego-clash, I would have felt drained and depressed.  Instead, by choosing to focus on moving forward and doing what I love, I not only defused the situation with this person, I ended the day feeling enlivened and content.

Easter is a reminder to choose wisely. The symbol of the crucifixion and resurrection reflects our ultimate power of choice.  We can either focus on fear or love, dark or light, lack or abundance.

For years, I’ve had a picture of Jesus, laughing, on my wall, along with many other spiritual leaders from other faiths. Whenever I see Jesus laughing, I’m reminded that as much as some religions try to depict a crucified image of him, many of his teachings focus on joy.  Through his choice of words “I AM,” Jesus chose to preface his statements so it affirmed his oneness with God. He didn’t say “I am not.”  He declared “I AM the light of the world.” (John 8:12). “I AM the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End.” (Rev 1:8). “I AM the vine, you are the branches.” (John 15:5). And the perfect Easter affirmation: “I AM the resurrection and the life.” (John 11:25).

How will you choose to affirm your truth this Easter season? What will you choose to cast your gaze upon? Pain or Joy? Resentment or Gratitude? These choices may sound simplistic but they are radically different. And they contain the power for a miraculous shift in perception, or what A Course in Miracles simply refers to as a “miracle.”

While I was busy channeling my energy into the creative realm, my husband decided to go for a run. When he returned he said, “You’re not going to believe this, but as I was running, I thought about the situation with your friend and my energy dropped so low that it became hard to run (crucifixion). But then, I decided to shift my attention on to you and my love and appreciation for you (resurrection). And guess what happened? My energy shot up and I ended up having the best run that I’ve had in a long time.”

“I felt your love,” I replied. “And guess what? I shifted, too, and I AM a lot more at peace.”

What is your highest I AM truth this Easter?

Namaste,

Laura V Grace

“Groups run by women are our psychic turf; our place to discover who we are, or who we could become, as whole independent beings. Somewhere in our lives, each of us needs a free place. A little psychic territory. Do you have yours?”      ~~Gloria Steinem

The Central Coast’s 2^nd Annual Women’s Symposium was extremely successful. A whopping 90% of the feedback surveys rated it “Excellent!” We were honored to have so many loving, creative and empowered women join together in the same place at the same time.

Keynote speaker, Jean Shinoda Bolen, shared her infinite wisdom, including the power of women’s circles from her book The Millionth Circle: How to Change Ourselves and The World–The Essential Guide to Women’s Circles. As a result, several women have expressed an interest in co-creating circles for women and are asking for guidance on the best approach.

Circles contain their own energy and can be very powerful. Circle time is meant to be sacred. As we enter a circle, we step outside of our everyday routine and enter into a place of great mystery. Never underestimate the power of the circle. It can change us on many levels if we allow ourselves to enter it with an open mind and compassionate heart.

In the spirit of providing encouragement, below are some guidelines I have used in the past for creating a sacred circle:

1. Ask your deepest self for guidance in clarifying your intention for co-creating a circle. You may also want to invite the other women to share their intention. For example, you could explore the following probes:

What do I most deeply desire to EXPERIENCE in my life?

At this unique point in time, with all of my life experiences, what do I most deeply desire to CREATE in my life?

 What do I most deeply desire to CONTRIBUTE to life?

Once you’ve clarified the intention for having a circle, decide how often you want to meet, the location, how will the facilitation be shared, how many may attend, etc.

1. When you’re ready to begin meeting, take time to prepare yourself before entering the circle. This may be accomplished through a short ritual, prayer, meditation and so forth. The facilitator should be prepared to hold the “rim” of the circle. Please keep in mind that it is not the sole responsibility of the facilitator to ensure the circle is a sanctuary. Everyone contributes to the energy of the circle.
2. Honor yourself and the other women in the circle and set your intention for a soulful, heart-opening and empowering experience.
3. When another woman is sharing, give her your full attention. Remember that it is a privilege to be a part of each other’s journeys.
4. Allow ideas and goals to surface and respect any differences.
5. Create “authentic partners” (as Jean Shinoda Bolen mentioned) to empower each other to take action steps and stay on track.
6. Practice being mindful and confidential of what is shared. “Circle magic and mystery” is best kept alive by keeping what is said in circle private. Try to remember the sacredness of the circle and honor the beauty and wisdom that manifests as the circle unfolds.

Finally, no matter how we choose to spend our precious life force energy, may we remember the guiding principles that Jean Shinoda Bolen graced us with on March 10^th:

 Is it meaningful to you?

Will it be fun being with others on this project/cause?

Is it motivated by love?

 Namaste,

Laura Grace

Women of Wisdom: Midwifing Conscious Change

“There’s never been a better time to be a woman,” affirms Jungian analyst and author, Jean Shinoda Bolen, M.D.  At a time when the planet is at a precarious crossroads, her words are bittersweet. Conscious women recognize the imbalances in our environment, our social structures, our families and ourselves. We see the destruction taking place and often feel powerless to stop it. While trying to make money, take care of loved ones and squeeze in time for ourselves, the thought of “being the change” can seem overwhelming. The million dollar question becomes, “Do we have time to steer the planet in another direction, and if so, how?”

Some of the great activists of our time, i.e., Joanna Macy, Barbara Marx Hubbard, Jean Shinoda Bolen, etc., remind us that our feminine power lies in our inter-connections, specifically, joining together in community. Right now, we are the most educated, empowered generation of women in history. We have opportunities as never before. And some our greatest opportunities are contained in our ability to create circles that allow us to express our innate wisdom and strength.

At the September 2009 Vancouver Peace Summit, the Dalai Lama affirmed: “The world will be saved by the western woman.” As women are waking up and answering the call of their soul, we are witnessing how much change we can evoke. We don’t have to quit our day jobs, neglect our families, or ignore our own needs, we simply take one step forward—together—supporting each other’s potential, successes and contributions. The probes we must ask ourselves are:

What is my highest capacity?

What can I best contribute?

How might I be a conscious co-creator in shaping the future of this world?

As a way to support women and the healing of our planet, I felt inspired to start an annual women’s symposium where I reside in Central Coast, California. On March 12, 2011, more than a hundred women came together to become more empowered, connect and create. Everyone left feeling inspired and much to my delight (and surprise), the majority of women wanted to continue the momentum that began on March 12th. It seemed natural that we would co-create through “circles” since women thrive in circles and our non-profit is called the Circle of Grace.

Here we are, in 2012, and we have a choice: we can either live in fear and pessimism, or rise up to the challenge in hope and trust. While some are choosing to be afraid of the “cataclysmic warning” of the Mayan calendar, many women are standing tall, stronger than ever. And the conscious men in our lives are supporting us along the way. Instead of feeling threatened, they understand the need for women of wisdom to midwife conscious change on our planet.

At our 2nd annual women’s symposium on March 10th, Jean Shinoda Bolen will be our keynote speaker. Her presence and wisdom will remind us why women are determining the fate of our planet, how we can take a more active role (without burning out), how to harness our potential and create positive change, and together, how we can create the future we desire.

In 1870, Julia Ward Howe wrote the first Mother’s Day proposal. It was directed toward bringing women together to create peace and harmony to humanity. After witnessing the devastation of the Civil War, Howe’s intentions were to unite women so they could bring peace where war and conflict had reigned.  Here are the final words of Howe’s proposal:

“In the name of womanhood and of humanity, I earnestly ask that a congress of women without limit of nationality may be appointed and held at someplace deemed most convenient and at the earliest period consistent with its objects, to promote the alliance of the different nationalities, the amicable settlement of international questions, the great and general interests of peace.”
– Julia Ward Howe, Boston 1870

I hope to see you at the Second Annual Women’s  Symposium.  If you would like more information about it, please visit the Symposium site by clicking here.

Namaste,
Laura V Grace

Why am I sharing them with you?

Because navigating the waters of our daily life is sometimes challenging, and during the holiday season, they can be downright choppy. So below are some of the “Great Soul’s” greatest quotes. May you find direction and comfort in them as you sail through this holiday season.

1. Freedom

Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.

2. Happiness

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.

3. Humanity

You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.

 4. Forgiveness

 An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind.

 5. Strength

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.

 6. God

God has no religion.

 7. Life

Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.

 8. Change

We must be the change we wish to see.

 9. Self-Help

The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.

10. Unconditional Love                                                                                               

Whenever you are confronted with an opponent, conquer him with love.

Even the thought of giving, the thought of blessing or a simple prayer has the power to affect others.
~Deepak Chopra

Thanksgiving is quickly approaching. How will you approach it?

For the past several years, my husband and I have celebrated this day of gratitude very simply: hiking in the morning, feeding the homeless in the afternoon, enjoying a candle lit dinner on our deck which faces the Pacific Ocean. Yes, we are very blessed. And yes, we appreciate our amazing ocean view. But more importantly, despite our OFG’s (challenges disguised as “opportunities for growth”), we are grateful for our life together.

This Thanksgiving will follow the same course. As we sit down to savor dinner, we’ll share praise for the life we’ve co-created; the ups and the downs, our children, beloved pets, home—everything that comes to mind in that precious moment.

Kahlil Gibran once affirmed: “Wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving.” I don’t know about you, but for me, doubt and fear rear their heads most easily upon awakening. When I wake up, I can either lie in bed for a few minutes letting these creepy characters control my day—OR—I can choose to focus on what I appreciate. The latter sets the tone for my entire day.  Just this morning, after having spent 15 minutes reflecting on all of the good in my life, my heart continued to expand with gratitude as I hiked around my funky sea-side town:  I saw a caring dog owner hug her aging retriever before getting into her car; a man bent down to comfort a crying child at the beach; an elderly woman who is almost blind thanked me for taking the time to stop and chat with her.

Would I have witnessed as much love had I simply jumped out of bed instead of taking time to count my blessings? Probably not.

As we celebrate Thanksgiving, let us practice giving thanks so we may create another day, another week, of loving. Here are some steps for extending today’s love into the rest of this week and beyond:

Wake Up with Gratitude

Each morning, before you get out of bed, call to mind everything—anything—that you appreciate. This is not a time to be picky. Silently (or out loud) say “Thank you!” for your body, comfy bed, beloved pets, people who deserve gratitude…etc.  I love how my Zumba instructor, Sally, ends every morning session with the yoga sun salutation “hands-up” pose.  As we stretch our arms and hands to the sky, I am given another opportunity to say “Thank you, thank you, thank you” for my life.

Slow Down So You Can Count Your Blessings

Between interruptions from our personal communication devices, running errands or simply having to stand in line, moments like these can raise our blood pressure, create anxiety and trigger irritation. But these can also be the best times to practice shifting from aggravation to appreciation. Try this: the next time you’re running late and your heart rate quickens, take a deep breath and call to mind one person that you appreciate. Just one memory of kindness can trigger an instant that “All is well.” Practice maintaining that feeling so the “instant” expands into an “experience.”

Share Your Great-Fullness

This isn’t about bragging. It’s about telling one person what you’re grateful for—today. There’s a good chance they’ll catch your “great-full” vibe and pass it on. If not, you’ve still spread some gratitude and that’s always a good thing.

Bookend the Day with Thanks & Giving

Did I mention how Thomas and I end our Thanksgiving dinner? Simple: with intention. Since we begin the meal with thanks, we love to bookend it by setting our intention until the next Thanksgiving. It usually entails something that smacks of hope, discovery, creativity, vision, faith and trust. What better way to create another loving day?

May you enjoy a Thanksgiving filled with infinite moments of love and joy.

The Awakened Glimpse

In the 2000 film The Family Man, Jack Campbell (Nicholas Cage), a successful and talented businessman, is happily living his single and lavish life in New York City.  From outward appearances, he has everything—or so he believes. One day he wakes up in a new life in New Jersey where he’s married to Kate (Téa Leoni) and has two kids.

As the story unfolds, Jack discovers the power of love surpasses all the wealth and supermodels he used to enjoy.  Because Jack is happy but confused, an earth-angel named Cash (Don Cheadle) explains that he is being given a “glimpse.” The glimpse is what could be—depending on Jack’s choices from this point forward.

I love this movie and have seen it at least 5 times. It’s a powerful reminder of the beginning stages of our own spiritual journey.  When we first step onto the spiritual path, it feels as though we are being lifted higher, almost effortlessly.

Marianne Williamson once described the first steps of our spiritual excursion as “…being lifted to the top of the mountain.”  From way up here we can feel the winds of love caressing our skin and see the rays of light illuminating the sky. Like falling in love, we are alive with excitement and anticipation. No longer asleep and dreaming in black and white, it’s as though we’re awake and witnessing everything in Technicolor.

But as Marianne also explained, we don’t get to stay there. We must start at the bottom. And there are no short cuts.

The top of the mountain is the preview and motivation that our higher self provides.  How else could we possibly remain inspired when we slip or fall from the rubble of projections, resentments and negative patterns?

I remember witnessing my own zenith of zeal 18 years ago.  I could feel the heavy load from a lifetime of veils being lifted from my vision. Signs from the universe were everywhere; “random” coincidences in the form of billboards spoke to me, certain license plates affirmed a deeper truth and radio lyrics answered my deeper questions.

I was positive that I was on a special “spiritual fast-track” and nothing was going to stop me.

But a year later, the miraculous mission began slowing down. It didn’t stop but the effortless momentum definitely dwindled.

At first, I didn’t realize that, like Jack, I had been given a glimpse of what could be. As I continued my trek into the light, I began to understand that in order to sustain the pinnacle of joy I would have to acquire a lifelong practice of dropping my judgment, forgiving old resentments and facing some very tenacious dragons.

My daughter, Alexis, is getting a glimpse of the summit right now.  She is experiencing universal synchronicities daily and tasting the divine elixir of BEING AWAKE. Like young Tabitha in the TV series “Bewitched,” Alexis is beginning to harness her inner power and cast her spells of healing, love and light.

So what’s the point of this blog?

Simply this: The glimpse is the persistent reminder to KEEP GOING.  At times, the ascent may feel very steep and we may become cynical—or worse—tempted to give up.  During such trials, REMEMBER THE GLIMPSE. Whether you’ve been spiraling up the spiritual mountain for 3 weeks, 3 months or 30 years, the Glimpse, like the North Star, is the consistent, radiant light, guiding us, one step at a time, back “Home.”

(Dedicated to Alexis.)

What is it that we as human beings want more than anything else?  Well, despite the focus on accumulating more “stuff,” what we truly want is quite often the very thing that we push away the most: happiness, creative work and fulfilling relationships.  The bottom line is we want those intangible things that fulfill our heart and honor our soul.  And, meaningful connections are right up there at the top of the list.

While we may have moments of loving freely, it is often hard to sustain particularly where it matters most—in our closest and personal relationships. So, why, if love is so mighty, are human relationships fraught with so many challenges?

Well, the phenomenon of “projection” is often the culprit. Relationships, as challenging as they may be, are perfect “mirrors” for us to become more aware, grow and evolve. They are classrooms for us to explore where we unconsciously block love, intimacy and authentic connection.

Our first relationship always begins with ourselves. From there, our relationships with others allows us to see how we treat ourselves. Until we can accept all aspects of ourselves, it’s impossible to truly accept and love another. In the East, spiritual teachers remind us that, “The world is as you see it.” Here in the West, spiritual teachers and psychologists have shared it another way, “It’s all done with mirrors,” which speaks of the experience of projection.

For example, if I’m a perfectionist, I will criticize someone who is comfortable making mistakes, or be attracted to someone who is more laid back than me and enjoys the journey more than the outcome. However, with the latter, once the attraction has died down, I may find it irritating that they are not “trying hard enough” to get the job done or are not doing it “right.”

Can you relate?

Human relationships are a significant part of our emotional and spiritual journey. Through relationships, we are given the invaluable opportunity to recognize and resolve issues around trust, intimacy, projection, forgiveness, commitment, insecurity, jealousy, and projection.

What might someone be “mirroring” back to you?

Namaste,

Laura V Grace

It often seems that we have faith in “things” more than each other. When we want more light we flip a switch expecting light to appear. When we want to take a breath we automatically inhale assuming oxygen will fill our lungs. We do not question where the light or breath comes from, we simply expect it to be there.

However, our faith in one another is not always as strong.

How many times have we overreacted to someone because we lacked faith in that person? Perhaps we believed they wouldn’t follow through with a promise or we perceived they wouldn’t do the best they were capable of? So often we judge another through the eyes of distrust, suspecting the worst rather than the best.

Faith in each other requires trusting that people are not innately “bad,” but inherently “good.”

If we want to be positive agents of change in our communities, I believe we must practice having faith and trust in each other. We cannot possibly hope to have others trust us if we do not trust others.  Trust is a way of cooperating with each other. Can you imagine a sailboat where the crew members do not have faith and trust in each others’ ability? The boat would soon stop functioning because of the chaos. In our community, we live in close quarters, like a boat crew. Faith and trust in each other creates order and balance.

It’s in our human relationships that we are able to witness the amount of faith and trust we possess. In our relationships we are presented with opportunity after opportunity to be open, honest, authentic, and to trust.

On Saturday, August 27, 2011, the Circle of Grace is hosting its’ annual relationship conference for both couples and singles. This year’s theme is “Relationships: Mirrors for Transformation” and David Richo, Ph.D., M.F.T. will be our keynote speaker. His most recent book is titled Daring to Trust: Opening Ourselves to Real Love & Intimacy and he discusses how some of us tend to trust too much while many of us do not trust enough. And at the core of all intimacy is faith and trust.

So as you go about your day, who are you willing to place your faith in today?

Namaste
Laura V. Grace, Spiritual Director